Grace and Redemption (part 2)

You can read part 1 of the story here

And then it happened. 
I was on my way to the airport and stopped to fill up the rental car at a gas station.  I had in mind how much I thought it would cost to fill up the car…and I was $10 over in my estimation!!! How blessed I am!....
Just as I was getting buckled in and about to start the car, a man approached.  Clean looking, bold yet respectful in keeping his distance from the car…no limp (I don’t know why that is important…but somehow it is)…He raised both hands up to indicate he meant no harm, I lowered the window just a bit to see what he wanted…the lot was full of other cars and people, I felt safe. 
“Ma’am, I’m just trying to get enough money for some food.” “Just a minute.” I raised the window back up…I can give him a couple of $$...that would be so generous of me…and then I will have made up for my earlier sin of neglect.
NO, De Anna.  Give him that $10 you just got back in change.
Without a hesitation, I gave the man that $10 bill and heard him say, “God bless you…” he looked relieved…turned around and was on his way on foot to somewhere…I do not know. The whole thing happened as if some sort of perfectly natural everyday routine sort of thing...yet it was not ordinary, it was not routine...This was different.

“God, did I just give him way too much?  Is he going to waste it on alcohol or drugs?”

Then it occurred to me…he just might squander that money.  He just might not really want food…But that is between him and the Lord.
Since this whole thing happened…I have thought about how God allowed me to redeem myself in His eyes…

what am I saying?  I felt redeemed in my own eyes…

1. an act of redeeming or the state of being redeemed.
2. deliverance; rescue.
3. Theology . deliverance from sin; salvation.
4. atonement for guilt.
In my own eyes, I felt redeemed...atonement for the sin of neglecting and dishonoring the poor man from two days earlier.. And while, yes, maybe the LORD was in fact giving me a second chance to do the right thing, it was a tender lesson for me as well...

You see, Redemption is also the ACT of REDEEMING or the STATE of Being REDEEMED...of which I am, according to Ephesians 1:7.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins,
 in accordance with the riches of God’s grace."

While I am so very thankful that God has redeemed me from my sinful state apart from HIM, he continues to redeem me from myself...I literally would self destruct with out HIS merciful GRACE...

Here's the thing...God generously and lavishly poured out his Grace and Love and Mercy and Redemption by giving His One and ONLY Son so I would be saved from the guilt and shame and dispair...from my poverty of spirit. 

And I waste it.

I squander the beautiful grace on any given day.

I embrace the Grace God has given for myself but fail to extend that same grace toward others

I am not unlike the one who begs for GRACE only to Squander the very GIFT given.  I am not why do I see myself as if I am?

"have you not discriminated among yourselves and become
 judges with evil thoughts?"

James 2:4 NIV

Today, I am asking God to forgive my selfish, judgemental, self-exalting attitude...and asking that He allow me a heart like that loves lavishly, filled with grace and redemption...

I have asked my friend, Kristi, to forgive me... and like Jesus, she extended grace...

Grace. Un-merrited Favor. Getting what I don't deserve.  GRACE.

The Word. Worship. Prayer. These are my ROOTS.