Journal Entry from 1998

Journal Entry
May 18, 1998


I have so much to write about.  I wish I kept up with my writing more.  I know this isn’t my gift, but there are so many memories I don’t want to forget.  A picture is good, but to know the thoughts and feelings surrounding a moment in time is even more priceless. 

Boys, I hope you read from these pages one day and know that I could never fully express my thoughts and feelings to you.  In person or to anyone else.  But I can write from my heart and hope you’ll understand when I write about the moments of this life God has allowed me to share with you.  Please know how blessed I am to have such fine sons.  Sons that make me so proud to be a mother. So overwhelmed that God places enough trust in me to raise you into godly men of tomorrow. 

Sometimes my joy is so great I feel I might shout-or cry-or laugh.  Sometimes all of those…


 Cameron, Matthew, and Kyle- I love you with all the love I have.  You mean so much to me.  You are my world.





Peaceful Soul Peace of Mind


Just BREATHE...



Seriously. It is OK for you to stop your never ceasing, never ending repetitive routine of daily living to just take a break and BREATHE.


I just finished up a Bible Study from Pricilla Shirer's new study... BREATHE and I am very excited because she teaches us what God's intention for Sabbath is all about in a clearly articulated and relevant way.

No more wondering if you should or shouldn't go out to eat on Sunday or if its right to do your grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon while your kids are napping and your husband is watching the game. 

Our God designed the need for Sabbath as a reminder of who we were created to be and how we are to live at peace with our Creator and peace within ourselves.  


Some things I learned:

It is OK to say NO.
It is healthy for me to have boundaries and limitations in how I approach God's benefits and blessings in my life.
I am incomplete with out Sabbath.
Sabbath is about Surrender (that one hurt a little, but in a necessary way, if you know what I mean)



Pricilla shares honestly and gracefully the intended message of Sabbath and how you and I can put this command in to practice in 2015 and beyond.  This message is relevant to us in our social media/entertainment/indulgent world we live in today.


Pricilla teaches from Genesis, Deuteronomy and Exodus along with other scriptures to teach these  principles.


       

Sabbath Principles:
I.    Resist the urge to    
      continue.
II.   Remember what you 
      used to be.
III.  Recall what God has 
      accomplished on your 
      behalf.





You can find recorded teaching from Pricilla over at Life Way and order the workbook for yourself or  your small group. 

In usual fashion, the Lord used this study to teach me how I have allowed certain areas of my life to get out of control and then gave me practical and easy steps to get my life back in order and to find margin.  These goals and steps are creating peace and balance to my mind, heart and health.  





I have heard Pricilla live and I have done several of her studies and Y'all... she is real... just like us.  The whole Mommy/Wife/Career/Sister/Friend... her plate is full too.  You can trust her to be real and honest and full of grace. I feel like she is one of my very best friends and you will too!

Enjoy!!


Feeble Attempts at DIY


This is a random post at best... I am not really heading in a direction of being a DIY blogger type, but I do LOVE me some DIY!! and I have begun following EVERYTHING on Pintrest!!! uh-huh...you are too, don't look at me that way! AND I really LOVE making our house a home.

When we first started our marriage together and the kids began coming, Mike and I decided that we wanted our house to be a place of peace and welcome.  Our decorating budget has been practically a laughing nonexistent one, so much of what we do (translated I do and he helps!) has been on a shoestring budget and our design qualifications fit literally on a dime!

But this is just me and you are just you, so let's get to know each other a  little better.  It's what friends do... practice hospitality to family friends and friends we've yet to meet!

Most recently, I have discovered Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. 
You too? I have a Facebook Friend, Debra Weaver, who posts the most beautiful furniture up-dos you have ever seen.  While I have yet to meet Debra in person, we are really close!!! I shop for paint at her store Vintage Now Modern.



I thought I would share some of my recent projects with you 

From my house to yours!  Enjoy!




Our "been in the family" farmhouse table got a coat of ASCP Graphite on the legs.  LOVE IT!


















On old lamp that used to be gold toned was freshened up with ASCP Emperor's Silk. 

LOVE LOVE it!







And for our mantel I used some spray paint on an old picture frame to give the space a pop of color.  Then my friend 
Mc Kinley helped me with the SNOW banner.  I know, super cute! right!!!  






I post my DIY pics over on Instagram. Feel free to follow along and participate in the randomness of my home decorating skills.  You are Welcome!






Freedom is found in the One who loves us most


Pressing Down
Pain Hurt Disappointment
Shame Fear 
Insecurity

The Serpent Grows
Slithers Out
Seeking to Devour
Slicing Sharp Words

Venom Spewing
Lashing Out
Eyes of Fire
Rage upon Rage

It is now exposed
Evident to all
Yet denial is the language
It Hisses

Cutting Biting Devouring
Defending Self-Erected Walls
Un-Forgiveness Bitterness Anger
Enslaves Torments
Slowly Kills

Truth Love Kindness
Joy Encouragement Grace
Peace Peacemaking
These are not what evil speaks



We wrestle not against flesh and blood
But Flesh and Blood it feels
Twisted Truth
Love with conditions
Broken hearts collide

Hearts Bound and Chained
Confess they are free
Tangled in webs and roots
Unstable Foundations Crumble

Messy hearts make messy homes
Life IS messy but 

The Messiah is Master
Sets Free Heals Restores
Delivering Love’s Message

He exchanges a Message for Messy

Letting go of self and stuff
Trusting Unseen Hands who Hold
Free-falling into Grace
Resting in Everlasting Arms


Freedom is found in the One who loves us most


The Word. Worship. Prayer.
These are my roots.

Bitterness Blames

This is an updated version of a previous post.  These words came from an encounter with a  loved one that was more horrendous than I could have imagined in my lifetime; an unexpected manifestation of something dark and plaguing our family tree for generations.  

This was an encounter that left me shaking, my long-time fear of never being loved by this person invaded my mind, heart, seared my soul and sliced through my spirit.  I wept violently for what seemed hours, days.  My days and nights filed with pleading for the salvation for deliverance that comes from avoiding Truth and embracing Deception.

Vile and vicious words had been delivered to me from one that claims to know Christ, but in the moment there was such darkness and a countenance that was filled with hatred and loathing. I felt I was looking at something serpentine and slithery instead of the face of the one I have longed to love and be loved without fear of judicious discipline and rejection.

It was the worst thing I have ever experienced in the visible, real, see-it with-my-own-eyes spiritual warfare.  


God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.  ~1 John 1:6-7
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ~1 John 3:16
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister[b] is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister[c] lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them. ~1 John 2:9-11
Internet Photo

February 2015
Bitterness... a root that is seemingly covered until the rains of life erode the covering of dirt to reveal the entangled mess and web of life that is no longer fruitful, sweet and healthy.

Bitterness has lived in my family tree and has sought to entangle me since my childhood...reaching out, emotionally manipulative in it's efforts to draw me in, pull me under it's hypnotic glare. 


But I have made a choice. 
My Roots are The Word, Worship and Prayer.  


The Family Root of Bitterness has been enraged and is now on the attack. 

Bitterness really only attacks its host.  

But it will lash and  slither out with Resentment, Un-forgiveness, The Silent Treatment, Broken Relationships, Sourness of Soul and Death to Health and Wellness.  

Bitterness Blames and has two best friends named 
Pride and Un-forgiveness.  

They hold hands and promote their lies of Shame and Turmoil of Truth Twisting- ever reaching beyond the seed of Hurt that was never meant to take root in a Christ Follower's soul.

Spiritual Warfare at it's finest.  Biting and devouring others in the Family of Faith as well as anyone who would dare to challenge the strength of the entangled root system that's been cultivated for years, decades, generations even- in the life of one who has eyes to see and ears to hear yet for  the sake of Pride and Un-Forgiveness remains blind and deaf to Heaven's Truth...



Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.  See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:14-15 


Peace cultivates Holliness and Grace. Peace makes every effort. EVERY. EFFORT.

Without Holiness, others do not see the LORD in our lives. 

See to it.  Be on guard. Let no one fall short of the GRACE of God over bitterness.

Bitterness deifles many.

Grace is Bitterness' enemy...and solution to health, healing and wellness of soul mind and body.


The Apostle Paul reminds us that we are not dealing with, wrestling with, flesh and blood, but against powers, principalities and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  (Ephesians 6)

When it feels like Flesh and Blood, however, what do you do? When an evil spirit has been allowed to sit, simmer and now rage? What does one do? 

We fast and pray. We make every effort to seek Peace.  
Peace is a Person.  
Peace is Jesus.



"When I am afraid, I will put my 
confidence in you. Yes. 
I will trust in the promises of God. 
And when I am trusting Him, 
what can mere mortals do to me?
Ps 56:3-4




Bitterness will not devour me.  

  
He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.~James 4:6-10 



The LORD is our Peace.   



Trust

Will I ever trust again?
Longing, waiting hoping
Wishing, wanting…letting go again.

You O, Lord are my strength my song
When will the melody make sense to me?
Rising, falling, back again
Homesick for something I have never known
I long to see you, hear you, 
feel the warmth of you
In my soul and in my mind
Pulsing, racing, beating life

Your love never changes, never fails
I have the power to change, but fail
You, O God, are my Shield 
Hide me where no one sees but you
The tears that go un-fallen, unseen to those I love

So homesick for something I have never known 
Teach me how to live in the waiting
Rising, falling, back again
When will the melody make sense to me?
Will I learn to trust again?



The Word. Worship. Prayer.
These are my Roots.